July 07 2014 Monday at 12:00 AM

Making Your Special Moment Special: What to Avoid when Planning your Marriage Proposal

When you have found the person you want to spend your life with, you start thinking about the proposal.  You know you want to make it special, and you will be filled with all sorts of emotions that could cloud your judgment:  excitement, anxiety, nerves, love.  You’ll want to scream from the mountain top that you’ve found the one, and you’ll want her to remember the moment of proposal for ever and ever.  

If you’re struggling to determine how best to pop the question, you are not alone.  And there’s no need to reinvent the wheel.  Many people have proposed over the years, to say the least, and there are some clear do’s and don’ts when planning your proposal.  Let’s explore some of the obvious don’ts.

Do not make these mistakes!

1.  The Perfect Moment

Sometimes you will be waiting to propose for days or weeks or even months.  It’s better to wait and hold off than to have a plan that gets foiled.  For example, you’re at a romantic dinner and you each have one too many or two too many glasses of wine.  Unfortunately, you want to both remember it, and if there’s a chance she’s too far gone down the path of inebriation, you’re going to want to hold off.  She may not remember she even said yes!  It’s better to wait for a perfect moment.  Let yourself be open to the idea, and be aware of your surroundings.  And of course, always have that ring with you.

2.  The Ring

Some people will be so excited to pop the question that they will feel that their expression of their love is enough for her to say yes.  No matter who she is, she will want that ring slipped on her finger at the moment she says yes.  Also, proposing without a ring also demonstrates the whimsy you put into the decision.  If you have a physical ring, it shows you’ve thought about it and are sure about it, and it’s not a hasty impulsive decision.  The ring is more than just a ring, it’s an expression of the care and certainty you feel toward your bride to be.  Never propose without a ring.

3.  Too Soon, Too Soon

If you are really sure about your woman, you are going to spend the rest of your lives together.  The last thing you should do is propose marriage too soon.  You’ve met a great gal, and you’ve spent every day of the last month together.  This is called the Honeymoon Period, and it is bound to end (that doesn’t mean you’ll start hating each other – it’s just the newness definitively wears off).  Do not propose during this time.  You can think about it, you can want it, but you shouldn’t do it.  Proposing too soon shows that you’re willing to make huge life decisions far too impulsively.  Patience will be rewarded.

4.   It’s For the Two of You

In this, the Facebook generation, many people are inclined to make all personal matters extremely public.  But for goodness sake, your proposal must be for you and your to-be-betrothed.  There will be plenty of time to share your exciting news with friends and family, but the proposal itself must involve just the two of you.  After all, who are you proposing to, the woman of your dreams, or the audience of friends and family?  It’ll be and feel far more sincere and memorable if the moment is shared just between the two of you.  

5.  Mums the Word

You will be excited and that is totally understandable.  But keep the plans to yourself as much as possible.  Sure, confide in your sister, or your best friends.  Please do not go around blabbering about it to anyone wherever and whenever.  The more you do, the more it’ll seem like you’re proposing simply to get the Facebook likes and to be done with it.  Is that why you want to get married?  You want the moment to be special and you want her to be surprised, so keep the plans to yourself, lest she catch wind through the grapevine.  Again, you’ll have a lifetime to share the details later.